What has HCM given me?

I recently joined the HCM parents' Facebook page as I am preparing for little J's upcoming surgery. On this page, there are many questions posted that came from the HCMA website.  Two of the most recent were, "What has your/your family's diagnosis of HCM taken from you?"  and "What has your/your family's diagnosis of HCM given you?"  The first question had many answers - many sad stories that touched my heart.  But the second question, asked over a month ago, still had zero responses.  That got me to thinking about how I would answer that question. . .What has my family's diagnosis of HCM given me?

Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy has given me the hardest trials of my life thus far, hands down.  It has forced me to do and live through many things that I would never have chosen for myself, but in the process, it has blessed me in so many ways. 

It has given me empathy for people who are truly suffering – whose lives are falling apart at the seams.  I’ve been there; I’ve lived through it more than once; and it makes me want to show the kind of love I needed at that time to others.  

It has given me new friends, as neighbors and family members have reached out and shared love and compassion in countless ways.

It has shown me that I am much stronger than I think I am.  Because my husband is afflicted with this disease as well, there have been times when I have had to pull the weight for our family almost all on my own and be there for both, or either, of my heart family.  With five small children, that is no easy task.  But I have been amazed at how the Lord has blessed me to be able to do it.

It has given me a new level of courage to face adversity head-on.  I have watched the experiences of both my son and my husband and just been amazed at their courage and perseverance.  I always refer to J as my “tough kid.”  He has endured so much pain in his short lifetime, and yet, he is so happy and resilient.  He still loves doctors and associates them with suckers, stickers, and stuffed animals.  I tried to explain his surgery to him in very basic terms the other night, and he didn’t act at all afraid.  Instead, he was pumped up for the airplane ride!  If he can be brave through all of this, then so can I. 

It has given me a closer relationship with and deeper love for my immediate family, and a stronger connection with my extended family.  It has helped me to forget about all the petty little things that might cause contention, and embrace the good in each member of my family.  It has helped me to learn to embrace the good days and really soak them in, as they are often few before a new storm rolls in.  But even in the midst of those storms, we have each other.  We have so much love, it hurts.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And finally, it has given me a closer relationship with and greater love and appreciation for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  He has been there all through this rocky HCM journey – to lift me up; to give me peace; to strengthen me beyond my own capacity; to teach me truth; to help me love; to help me overcome; and even to send me some sweet miracles.  Without His atonement, there would be no positives about HCM, but because of Him, our family has gained some pretty amazing things.